I remember starting our family’s homeschool journey almost 14 years ago this September (2024) and thinking that all I had to do was recreate school-at-home. I had been teaching in a small private school for 10 years, so obviously I knew how to “do school.” Wow, was I in for an enlightening year! I had a 2-year-old, an extroverted first grader, a school desk, a complete first-grade curriculum, and a fresh year in front of me. I did all the things I would have done in my classroom for the year – name tag on the desk; posters and handwriting chart on our basement “classroom” walls; whiteboard with fresh markers; a faux bulletin board for posting star work; a small table with independent folder games; and a cup of freshly sharpened pencils. Sounds like a recipe for a great year, right? Right!
Well, about 1 month into the school year, I knew I was in trouble. My curriculum was based on a traditional 6-hour school day and neither of my kids were having it. My first grader was being so stifled trying to sit at his desk and complete at least 6 worksheets, textbook reading, and endure scripted teacher lectures every day. Not to mention my 2-year-old playing contently and staying occupied quietly so that I can complete the detailed teacher script and give myself a star for the day too. Then there were meals, groceries, housework, and laundry. As you can probably guess, this did not work out well. I asked my teacher friends – who were not giving me any encouragement, except to come back to the classroom and end this farce. I reached out to my family – who is full of teachers and were trying to be supportive by offering more classroom strategies and file folder games. I reached out to other homeschooling moms – who were all telling me to hang in there and it will work itself out. I could not figure out what I doing wrong. I read the script. I was a good teacher. I knew how to “do school,” but this homeschooling thing was so foreign to me. I struggled with scrapping it all and crawling back to my old principal to see if they needed a substitute teacher this year.
I am so glad that I didn’t give up! I got two phone calls that changed my homeschool planning permanently. First, my mom called me and asked how it was going. She listened and once I took a breath she asked if that was all, was I done because she didn’t want to interrupt me. I told her yes, I thought that was it. She took a breath and said, “Your dad and I are really proud of you for making this leap into homeschooling. It is going to be a huge shift but it will change the flow of your life completely. It seems like you are resisting the change and feeling overwhelmed because you are trying to make it school-at-home.” I was getting ready to rebuttal and explain how that wasn’t true, but I wasn’t able to. She was right. I was so deflated. Then she said,
“Whatever is standing in your way, remember that: yes, you can.”
I said thanks and hung up. Then almost immediately my new friend, a veteran homeschool mom, called and asked how I was doing. Great timing, right? I wanted to lie and tell her it was fine, but I just didn’t have the strength. I started saying that I thought this was a mistake and that I needed to go back to the classroom and substitute until I could figure out the next move. Everything I stated as a failure, she would talk me through, and then at the end she reminded me why I left the classroom and how I said I wanted something different for my kids. Then she asked me a serious question – if you wanted something different, why do you keep trying to make it look and feel like a traditional school? I started unwrapping that with her (*I talk about this in my “Ducks in Row” blog post) and finally said, “Thanks, but maybe I can’t really do this.” She immediately said, “Yes, you can.” I told her oddly enough my mom had said the same thing to me earlier. She said, well then you better listen! I chuckled and told her I would think about it.
I did a lot of thinking about it and decided that maybe our family needed a huge shift as if homeschooling wasn’t enough of a change. I needed to embrace this new season full-on, not constantly thinking I would just quit and go back to the way things were. In order to do that I needed to breathe more and let my kids breathe more. It was fall and we decided to make some drastic changes and see what happened. And I wrote that phrase on an index card and stuck it in my closet = “Yes, you can!” Every time, every day, every morning I felt like this wasn’t going to work and I couldn’t do things “right” I would say it out loud,
“YES, I can.”
Every time my kids hit a roadblock or had a meltdown after the dust settled we would hug, lock eyes and say it together,
“YES, we can.”
Once I stopped holding back and realized homeschooling was so much more than school-at-home. It was about homework and heart work for all of us – my kids and myself. I stumbled and struggled through a few years, ending up creating a brand new co-op in our area and met other homeschool moms who revealed they too needed someone to tell them “Yes, you can.” Now after 13 years of leading our co-op and almost 14 years of homeschooling I am facing a new season of parenting, leadership, and family coaching. The mantra hasn’t changed – “Yes, you can.”
Yes, you can homeschool to provide customized academic planning for each of your kids.
Yes, you can do the heartwork of managing home stuff, family stuff, life stuff, and school stuff without losing yourself in the process.
Yes, you can have community and support for you and your children.
Yes, your home can become a haven for you and your family.
Yes, you can manage the meals, shopping, and laundry without all the stress.
Yes, you can release the things in your home that keep you from being organized and confident.
Yes, you can!
And as the saying goes: Be who you needed someone to be. My goal is to cheer for you and run with you! Let me help you sort through the heartwork while we work together to complete the homework. Then you can be the one saying, “Yes, I can.”